May 8, 2022
Today on Mother’s Day, I reflect on how the women of my legacy would handle my challenges. They each had a very different approach to their lives.
Grandma Falarski was a woman before her time. She had a presence and voice of command that made grown men stand to attention. This bold confidence radiated in every aspect of her life. A woman who stood for our rights cracked the glass ceiling for future women. As intimated as she could be, she was compassionate to care for you in need or sickness. Her soft voice and light caress soothed the pain or troubles. She would say, This too shall pass, and it did.
Grandma Dominiak was angelic, content with her life as a wife, mom, sister, and grandma. The best example of a perfect person. I never saw her angry, always with a calm demeanor. You knew by her look she was disappointed with your actions.
My best memories of my childhood are my time spent with her and the large family gatherings. She taught me to cook, garden, sew, and everything to make a house a home. Her most righteous moral was to be kind to all. She would say everyone had a story. We were not to judge. The quote kill them with kindness, she lived it.
My mom was courageous and mighty for a petite lady. I would say a blend of my grandmas’ personality traits. A tad more tenacious if she did not understand or know something. She would learn or figure it out. She had a sassy sense of humor and was the life of the party.
She was pregnant with me at 16. She balanced being a mom and being a successful professional woman raising a family, obtaining her GED, working her way up the ladder in the banking industry as a teller to vice-president in the central headquarters operation department, and then running a prominent computer company. She made it to every sports event, my biggest cheerleader. She had a whistle so loud that it would confuse the referees and the players. All my friends loved her, the cool mom. She randomly left sweet notes and inspirational quotes in my room or school bag. When we lived in different states, I would get a random call with a particular song blaring through the phone to express the message of her love.
Growing up, I did not appreciate my mom until the illness and death of my grandma Dominiak; in my senior year, we became close. We both filled the void of our loss. The biggest dream she had was to be a grandma. Life was great; she had four grandkids with another on the way. When I received the call, she was diagnosed with the same brain tumor as her mom,
my grandma
Dominiak. Devastated, I was 32. My daughter was 5 1/2, and my son was just two months old, living in Michigan while she lived in Florida. One week home, three weeks there, the kids and I traveled to be by her side as she fought this cancer. She participated in several milestones in my son’s first year. My daughter, treated like a princess, had her first makeup and nail polish playing dress-up with my mom. We spent many hours reminiscing, laughing, and crying. Just shy of a year, she passed the day before her 51st birthday. I was awed by the many people, friends, and family members at her funeral. Who came and shared stories about her influence on their lives.
I have to be honest in writing this blog. It has provided healing to the anger I have carried for all these years, losing these women too early. I needed their security and guidance. This reflection has given me peace. I am blessed to have such admirable women in my story, even for a short time. I can hear my mom saying, with her fun and sassy attitude. Put on your big girl panties and conquer life. As a mom, I aim to preserve their legacy with my flair and my life story and be an inspiration for my kids for them to have a better life story.
Be kind. Who are we to judge, even ourselves? Everyone has a story.
Happy Mother’s Day
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